Ruth 3-4

The Bible is a story, and a true one at that. It’s made up of plot lines and characters. It’s stories take place in scenes of gardens, cities, battlefields, temples, and kingdoms. Myriads of Bible chapters of genealogies are overlooked or skimmed over because they look like nothing more than movie credits after the final scene. They are filled with unpronounceable names making them even less enjoyable to read. Perhaps if these genealogies took a more creative form, like a family tree, then maybe we would spend more time reading them. Like most people’s family trees, they would reveal broken branches, bent limbs, ragged leaves, and flourishing fruit.

A neglected theme in the Bible is its emphasis on the family. What the Bible doesn’t do is present any family without its flaws. Dysfunctional families abound in the Bible. If more people would read the Bible and its stories, then they would see how God hasn’t left out the sordid details of dysfunctional families.

Adam and Eve

Beginning with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden we have a curious wife, a silent husband, and a deceptive serpent. Eve didn’t listen to God’s command concerning the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, and hen-pecked Adam failed to correct his wife, and remained silent as they ate their death-inducing newlywed meal.

Their failure led to God serving them an eviction notice from paradise. Eve would have to be subservient to Adam, and Adam would have to be the hard-working husband bringing home the bacon.

Unfortunately it doesn’t end there for the newly married couple. Cain, their firstborn son, murdered their youngest son. All of this introduces us to dysfunctional family.

Noah and Sons

Noah was a boat building preacher. He was on a mission from God to save the world. After the Ark settled back on dry ground, Noah planted a grape vine, and made himself an intoxicating cocktail. He ended up passed out and naked. Ham, one of Noah’s sons, found his father in his drunken condition and made fun of his old man. Fortunately, Noah had two other sons who had some respect for their father, and came in and covered him without shaming him.

When Noah awoke, and realized what Ham had done, he cursed Ham’s son, Canaan. Ham’s mistakes would become his son’s curse. Canaan’s family tree includes the Canaanites whose abominable behavior brought about further judgment from God (Gen. 10:15-19; 15:16; Deut. 20:17).

Abraham and Sarah

Who could forget about Abraham and Sarah? The father of faith also fathered a son out of unbelief. Instead of trusting God to give him and Sarah a son at their old age, they concocted a plan for Abraham to sleep with Hagar, the house servant. Their plan worked, and Hagar had a wild son named Ishmael. Abraham’s family tree of faith had a wild branch that would constantly be a thorn in the flesh of God’s people, even to this very day.

Ruth and Boaz

What does this all have to do with Ruth and Boaz and their nighttime encounter?

The story of Ruth and Boaz is more than just a love story. The third and fourth chapters are not a climax with a jubilation of Naomi’s return to Bethlehem. Rather, we are invited into a rendezvous between two potential mates, and given a brief overview of a genealogy.

Boaz and Ruth aren’t isolated figures in the Biblical narrative; they’re

people with a complex history, and products of dysfunctional families.

Boaz is a descendant of Judah and Tamar, which makes him a man with a checkered past (Gen. 38). Tamar was Judah’s daughter-in-law, who was married to Er. Er was wicked in the sight of the Lord, so the Lord slew him. Judah’s other son, Onan married Tamar, and he too did wickedly, and the Lord slew him also. All of this left Tamar as a childless widow. She deceived Judah, her father-in-law, by pretending to be a prostitute, and conceived a child with him. That child’s name was Pharez.

And Ruth’s past is little better. As a Moabite, she’s a descendant of Lot, which makes her the product of an encounter similar to Judah and Tamar’s (Gen. 19). Lot, who fled Sodom and Gomorrah, had a drunken incestuous relationship with his two daughters, who conceived and gave birth to the nations of Ammon and Moab.

Ruth and Boaz lived parallel lives. Their two histories are remarkably similar. Two men made terrible decisions in the middle of the night. The parallel doesn’t end there either. Naomi, Ruth’s mother-in-law, ties them together by having a similar history. Naomi’s husband left Bethlehem for Moab during a drought in hopes to find sustenance. Instead, Naomi’s husband died in Moab. They had two sons who married Moabite women, and both of their sons died in Moab.

Notice the similarities: Lot’s two sons-in-law refused to leave Sodom and perished under God’s judgment. Judah’s two sons, Er and Onan, were wicked and died under God’s punishment. Naomi’s two sons died in Moab. Lot gets drunk and sleeps with his daughters to produce Ammon and Moab. Judah is deceived by Tamar and conceives Pharez. Naomi, like Tamar, is a childless widow.

So when we are brought to the threshing floor we are brought to a familiar setting. Boaz is asleep from drinking too much. Ruth comes in and lays down at his feet. Naomi had informed her that Boaz was a kinsman-redeemer, which meant he could marry her and raise children with her. He could also claim the properties and possessions of Ruth’s deceased husband, and Naomi’s family.

So what will Ruth and Boaz do in this midnight situation? Will Boaz be like Judah and Lot? Will Ruth be like her Moabite forebears? Will Boaz take advantage of Ruth? Will Ruth deceive Boaz like Tamar had deceived Judah?

The odds seem stacked against Boaz and Ruth, especially when we recall the last encounter between a Moabite woman and an Israelite man found in Numbers 25. So, when Boaz wakes up and notices an unidentified female at his feet, we fear the worst. Who could blame them if they were to behave like that? Their family trees reveal broken branches, wild offshoots, and dead limbs.

Here are two people who have just about every reason to act like heathens and make every mistake their ancestors made.

Instead of falling into the same sin-ridden cycle their families fell into, they right the wrongs of their pasts. Boaz calls Ruth a virtuous woman, and Ruth gladly awaits Boaz decision to redeem her as his wife.

Righting the Wrongs

Again, I want us to notice some insignificant details of the story. Lot lingered in the city of Sodom, afraid to go too far. Judah went to the city gates of Enaim and met Tamar, who he believed to be a prostitute, because she disguised herself (Gen. 38:14). Ruth reveals who she is to Boaz, unlike Tamar disguising herself. Boaz goes to the gates of the city to redeem Ruth.

Previous patterns of behavior are thus put right, and the stigma of the past is removed. In other words, the wrongs of the past are made right. Boaz didn’t just redeem Ruth, he redeemed a past riddled with mistakes.

There are those who have just as dysfunctional families, if not worse:

•  Absent fathers and abusive mothers.
•  Alcoholic grandfathers, and addicted grandmothers.
•  Divorces and separations.
•  Hot-headed husbands and hard-headed wives.
•  Fighting and domestic violence.
•  Abandonment and aloof affection.
•  Adultery and loss of trust.
•  Backsliden siblings.
•  Lazy and lethargic parents

These types of examples do not mean that you have to end up that way. Your despicable past, and detestable present doesn’t have to be your destined future.

Too many stay in the cycle of the dysfunctional family. Instead of repeating the mistakes of the past, you can have a grace-fueled, and Spirit-led reversal to right the wrongs.

Here are a few examples of those who remain in the constant cycle of the dysfunctional family.

The Dysfunction Magnet

Notice how Ruth and Boaz found each other. How did they find each other? Dysfunction is a magnet. Some attach themselves to those who are familiar with dysfunction. Instead of raising the standards of their expectations in what they want in a potential mate, they settle for someone who is fluent in dysfunction. This is a recipe for disaster. Rather than attracting more dysfunction, you should raise the standard in your life. Did Ruth and Boaz right the wrongs? Yes. Were they made for each other? Yes. While you can right the wrongs with another dysfunctional person, it might be better to pray and seek for one who helps your growth as a person and Christian, not one who hinders both.

The apostle Paul wrote, “In Him dwells all the fullness of the godhead bodily, and ye are complete in Him” (Col. 2:9-10). You do not find happiness and fulfillment in another person. It is only through Jesus Christ that you can find happiness, purpose and completion. Placing your hope in another person will only produce frustration. The moment you realize that Jesus Christ is the only Person who can change your life, and give you a sense of fulfillment, then you can tether every other relationship to that reality.

The Fixer-Upper

The Fixer-Upper is someone who attempts to “fix” their mate or loved one. Boaz didn’t have to make Ruth into someone else before or after he married her. Ruth didn’t attempt to transform Boaz into a rough Moabite man, or try to make him more like her deceased first husband. I’ve heard wives say that they are “training” their husbands. I’ve even heard husbands say they are “raising” their wives. Your spouse isn’t a dog to be a trained, or a child to be raised. Undertaking the irresponsible task of trying to transform someone into your preconceived ideals leads to dysfunction. Your spouse and children are made in the image of God, not in the carnal fascination of worldly standards. Alternatively, pray that God would begin to transform you personally. What do you need to work on? Where can growth take place in your own life? Projecting your insufficiency upon another person will only frustrate you and your significant other.

Jesus Christ loves us just the way that we are. He doesn’t, however, allow us to stay the same way that He found us. Through Christ’s grace and mercy He begins the beautiful transformation of making us better than we were before. Here in this process of sanctification, He conforms us into His image.

The Impatient

One who is impatient attempts to right the wrongs, but only with the wrong motives. She wants to get out of a bad home situation, so she runs off with the first guy who shows her attention. To her, he is the ticket out of a toxic environment. In her impatience, she makes another mistake and lands in a situation worse than she left.

Wanting to get out of a toxic environment is perfectly normal. It’s better to wait upon the Lord to make a way of escape than to try to find refuge in a potential mate. They may be trying to get out of a bad situation too, and they see you as their golden opportunity to find freedom.

Ruth attached herself to a woman of faith, and God opened the door to find Boaz. The apostle Paul wrote that the older women in the local church should teach the younger women (Titus 2:3-5). Young women from dysfunctional families should attach themselves to the seasoned and experienced women of the church. Learning what to look for in a godly husband, and what it takes to have a healthy marriage. Likewise, young men who have grown up without a godly model of manhood should seek out godly men who graciously shepherd their families.

Righting the Wrongs in a Present Situation

What about those who are presently in a dysfunctional situation? Ruth, though a Moabite, was still redeemable. Although Boaz came from a checkered past, he was still able to redeem and change his life and someone else’s. It doesn’t matter how dysfunctional your present situation is, it is still redeemable.

Just because your father didn’t ask for forgiveness, doesn’t mean that you can’t be a better man and seek forgiveness from an estranged child. Just because your mother never got her act together, doesn’t mean you can’t come to an altar and find redemption. Just because your parents were manipulative and spiteful, doesn’t mean that you have to treat your kids that way. Just because your parents gave you a terrible example of what marriage looks like, doesn’t mean you have a broken marriage. Just because you had a child out of wedlock doesn’t mean you can’t have a healthy marriage and great kids.

Ruth and Boaz righted the wrongs, and undone years of history fraught with dysfunction. In other words, they redeemed the present and determined the future. Ruth left Moab behind to cling to Naomi. Boaz was a faithful man, he didn’t flee Bethlehem during a drought, rather he stayed and took care of his business until the drought was over. Together they became the parents of Obed, who was the father of Jesse, who was the father of David, who was the great grandfather of Jesus Christ.

When you look at the first chapter of Matthew, and the third chapter of Luke, you will find Jesus’ family tree. The Redeemer had come to right the wrongs of humanity’s broken family tree. But it first began in His own family tree. The names listed in His genealogy include Judah, Tamar, Pharez, Boaz, and a Moabite named Ruth.

Jesus has come to be your family’s Redeemer. He has come to right the wrongs, and undo the dysfunctional family. Like Boaz, Jesus, the Kinsman-Redeemer, redeems you and your past and takes ownership of your present to determine your destiny. You don’t have to disguise yourself, because He knows everything about you and redeems you anyway.

Furthermore, the apostle Paul adds, “Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God” (Ephesians 2:19). The “household” of God is filled with redeemed people who come from every sort of dysfunctional background you can think of. Christ has undone years of trouble, toxic relationships, and dysfunctional families, to give them healthy marriages, relationships and families.